I got a whiff of this in one of your comments on one of my stories. Reading this, I was getting ready to say something like maybe this is how you are, the way you roll, embrace it and do the privately-inclined work that comes naturally. But towards the end you say you want to be able to be more public, less fearful. There’s a mental gear switch that hasn't quite happened for you, where you no longer overly worry about how you are seen. But to be honest, even after decades of shooting in public, and teaching others to do it, it’s still not easy for me. There’s always a little hump I have to overcome.

I do find that the more confidence you can muster, the more people defer to you, which creates a ‘virtuous circle’ where you can get more and more comfortable.

I usually suggest finding ways to shoot in some sort of situation or event, where it’s understandable that one would be photographing and you can get at least tacit acceptance of your activity from those around you.

Sounds like you do have some deeper blockage going on but it could be surmountable. Maybe some small victories to build confidence? Some controlled experiments?

I can think of two examples from my past students:

One, a very short kid in my class, was afraid to photograph strangers. So he simply assigned himself the task of doing it in a limited but rigorous way. He went down to the nearest DC metro station, where a semi-homeless guy sells newspapers. He forced himself to talk to the guy first, ask him some questions about himself. Then he simply asked if he could take his portrait. Which he did, at close range and obviously with the cooperation of the guy. It was a decent photo but my student was thrilled and said the talking was the good part. It really helped him get over his fear and own his right to shoot in public.

Second was another student who was using his phone to shoot people at the zoo. He simply couldn’t get close enough out of fear. So he devised a plan. He approached tourists with his phone up like he was ready to record video, asking them if he could interview them for a school project. They would generally say yes and he would ask some questions to get them talking. But he wasn’t shooting video, he was taking their photos at point blank range. Devious and borderline unethical? Sure. Were the pictures great? No. But it helped him break the spell and no one was harmed.